You're my child warts and all

What do you do when your adult children do not follow the moral, social, and spiritual wisdom you have taught and invested in them, and choose a life that is totally unacceptable? I found out for myself a couple of weeks ago! Through all the hurt, embarrassment and tears,there's a story in the New Testament that the Spriti of God is using to help me, that I may be able to help my adult child and other family members. (Read here) In this story, a man's younger son asks his father for his share of the estate, then sets off for another country. He wastes his entire inheritance in wild living and eventually ends up in a literal pigpen. Though the details may have changed, this is still a common story today. Let's look at a few things we can learn from the parable of the prodigal son.
Remember, a good environment does not ensure perfect children (scripture)

Though the prodigal son left home and made a series of bad choices, there's nothing showing us that his home life was anything rough or severe.

Parental actions or inaction's—have taken the rap for almost everything. Many of us have done a less-than-perfect job in raising our kids. But remember:

* There are no perfect people.(scripture)
* All people are responsible for their own actions.(Scripture)
* All people (even your children) are capable of totally unreasonable actions.(scriptures)
Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly
Geoffrey and Marcia were exemplary citizens with a reputation for honesty, stability, and credibility. That's why it came as a shock when their son, Allen, was arrested for embezzling a large sum of money from the car dealership where he was the accountant. People speculated about where Geoff and Marcia had gone wrong in their parenting. Even Geoff and Marcia struggled to find fault in themselves.

But Allen's problem was all his own. During college he began a secret habit of gambling—poker in the dorms, bets on sporting events, and occasional trip to the casinos. After college, as his income grew, so did his addiction, until he began losing more than he made. He began skimming at work, until finally he was caught. It should have been no more surprising than if it had happened to the son of an alcoholic parent. Behavior does not necessarily reflect home environment.
Eventually we have to allow our adult children to make their own choices. (scripture)

Back to the story of the prodigal, we never read about the sorrow in the father's heart when he gives his youngest son the inheritance and allows him to run off to the city. But it's not hard to imagine.

Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly

Bruce and Amber's son, Ted, had just finished dental school when he announced over the phone, "I'm moving in with a friend while I do my internship."

The friend turned out to be a woman 16 years older than Ted. She had been married three times, had two teenagers, and was a heavy drinker. Ted didn't ask his parents' advice and wasn't interested in their concerns. He simply informed them that he was capable of making his own decisions. He's right, no matter how lousy his decisions might be.

Adult children need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the door to Mom and Dad's home is never completely shut.(Scripture)

What made the prodigal return home and plead for mercy? He knew his dad treated all people kindly.

Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly

Ronnie hadn't seen his parents in 12 years, though he called them once or twice a year. One day he called and asked them if he could move home. "Mom, there's no nice way to say this. I have AIDS and I'm dying."

Less than a year later, Ronnie died in his mother's arms in his parents' house—a home where he found an open door.
Adult children need to see an open display of compassion.(Scripture)

Upon his son's return, the prodigal's father threw his arms around the young man, hugged him, and kissed him even before there was any confession of sorrow. It was a very public display of love.

Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly

At 21, Heidi flew home from college during her senior year, unmarried and pregnant. Her parents met her at the airport, and the first thing her father did was hug her for about five minutes. Tears flowed and the people in the terminal stared. "I was so scared that I'd come home and you wouldn't want to hug me anymore!" Heidi said. Dad hugged her that day, and he was the first to hug her five months later when the baby arrived.

Truly repentant children, no matter what acts they committed, need our forgiveness. But what about those cases where there is no regret or remorse? This is a tough question. However, I personally believe you should not let your grown kids get away with inappropriate behavior or wrongdoing. As instructed by the Spirit of God, I keep running the following key principles in mind when I need to discuss my adult child's failures with them:

* We all have times when we need to be confronted for failing to live up to acceptable standards.
* Correct your children with patience and instruction.This is very tough me me..LOL(Scripture)
* Let them know that you are by no means perfect, but that you do want to help them overcome their failing in any way you can.(scripture)
* Don't make enemies of your adult children. The goal is a loving, healthy lifestyle and relationship.(Scripture)
* Make sure your comments exhibit true wisdom.(Scripture)
* Take time to consider the exact words (and tone of voice) you use when speaking to them.(Scripture)
* Once you have made your position clear, don't keep bringing up the subject. Yet again another hard one for me but God is able.

When we are disappointed in our children's behavior, we must live with the burden of incomplete relationships until they are ready to repent of their failure. This means not talking about your child's failures to others and not sitting around allowing the situation to eat away at you.

No matter what, parents cannot do four things when deeply disappointed by adult children:

1. Parents cannot give up.
2. Parents cannot cut off all contact
3. Parents cannot negate the wrong choices
4. Parents cannot reverse the damages

Forgiveness is not the end goal when adult children fail; it's the first step in reestablishing or maintaining a relationship.

Why are we trying to compete with the world?

…to be successful.
I dare say this because I love any and everything technology and “performance” related, but the Church does not need newer or better technology and brighter lights to be successful. We dont need them to compete with the “world”.

Do we NEED to be competing with the ENTERTAINMENT industry for the hearts and minds of the people in our communities to be a successful church? Is being a successful church all about drawing as many people as we can with the latest look, style, and vibe of the entertainment industry? Why are we comparing our church services to the entertainment industry anyways?
So how many of our churches can actually compete with Avatar or the Twilight Series? Or a Beyounce concert? Or X Factor? Because that’s pretty much what we’re trying to do.
God hasn’t called the Church to entertain people. The church is called to be about The Kingdom of CHRIST. I say compete with the spirit of the world for the hearts and minds of people. But not with the entertainment industry. We’re too focused on the natural.
I say with boldness and confidence that the Church doesn’t NEED the latest technology and flashiest lights to be the Church. Sure, one could argue that you need them to communicate with cutting edge authenticity and to capture the wandering attentions of our A.D.D generation. Maybe.
But what the Church needs to be successful is simple. In fact, what she needs and wants are two totally different things. The Church needs to be a representation of Christ to it's surrounding communities. Period.
Focus on that and you’ll be successful. Oh you might not grab the attention of people who want to be entertained, but why does the church need to duplicate that area anyways. George Cloney seems to be doing quite nicely as it is.
Start with CHRIST. Knowing who Jesus is and what He did/does is key. We can’t represent something we don’t know.
Let your use of technology and your desire to be cutting edge ALWAYS flow from a bigger purpose: BEING THE LIGHT.
Can we use technology to “be the light” – I’m sure some could argue that we could and should use what we have to influence others for Christ. But the plain and simple truth of the matter is we don’t need technology to effectively minister or tell others about Jesus to those around us.
The numbers are in and we’ve spent more money the last decade on growth techniques and being technologically cutting edge to “keep up with and compete with the world” than in any time in history and the American church has declined. It hasn’t worked. Throwing money at our facilities doesn’t grow the church. Representing Jesus to the world as a group of people does.
Want to be a successful part of the Church? Represent Jesus collectively right where you are, individually and of collectively, and God will honor that.
Want to be a cool, cutting edge, and ultimately entertaining church? Pursue stuff and neglect being Christ to those around you and you’ll probably be a beacon of technological “coolness” to churches across the land…but you’ll be a small fish swimming in a much larger ocean, the sea of entertainment that moves people but doesn’t truly impact them for eternity.
* Disclaimer: I’m ALL FOR using technology in our gatherings. I’m just not for all that creating memorable experiences. If you encounter the spirit of God you will never forget that.  I’m not for all that setting moods and atmospheres for our worship gatherings remember they that worship him must worship him in spirit and truth. 

U. S.A. (Under Satan's Authority)

Matt 12:34
O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

At the risk of losing my "black card" (noooo, not the American Express Black Card) and the possibility of losing my ability to play my unused "Race Card" I sumbit to you the argument that this nation is Under Satan's Authority and no longer One Nation Under God.
Much like the millions of others, I supported Our current POTUS(President of the United States)for which I have had to repent. I was doing some research for an upcoming sermon and found the following document. It will have the names of the congressmen & women that signed the letter of which I do not endorse at this time. As that is not the purpose of this blog post, but to show how the enemy of God is attempting to remove God from this Nation.
This has to be the first time in our history, the Congress has written a letter to a President on our nations beliefs……..

This is a wonderful response from Congress about keeping God a part of our country.
But it’s not been picked up by local media. This is an actual letter sent by members of Congress to President Obama who misquoted the motto as something else in his tour of Indonesia.

This demonstrates a lack of understanding of what makes America what it is, and what it stands for. It also demonstrates lack of education in the American system, a blatant lack on fear of the Lord and the demonstrates how far this nation has gone from God.
Since the contents of the letter and what it represents are not getting any national media coverage, it is good to know that the letter is
now and forever part of the public record for future generations to read.

Just a slip of the tongue right?ummm NO!!


From FactCheck.org here is more..


Q: Did Obama say we "are no longer a Christian nation"?

A: He said we are no longer "just" a Christian nation, but a nation of many other faiths as well. A chain e-mail drops that key word and thus changes the meaning.

FULL QUESTION

Is this true? It is now traveling around the Internet.



FULL ANSWER
This is an example of how omitting a single word from an otherwise accurate quote can twist the meaning so completely as to reverse it. Here's what Obama meant to say, during his keynote address to a "Call to Renewal" conference sponsored by the progressive Christian magazine Sojourners two years ago:







Obama, June 28, 2006 (prepared remarks): Given the increasing diversity of America's population, the dangers of sectarianism have never been greater. Whatever we once were, we are no longer just a Christian nation; we are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.



That quote appears also on Obama's campaign Web site. Unfortunately for Obama, he stumbled just a bit when he delivered the actual quote, as can be seen in this video of his speech, posted on YouTube by the Obama campaign. The way it actually came out was:

Obama, June 28, 2006 (as delivered): Whatever we once were, we are no longer a Christian nation – at least, not just. We are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, and a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.



That wasn't as smoothly stated as he had intended, but the meaning remains clear to any reasonable person. Saying that the U.S. is not "just" a Christian nation carries the sense that it is both a Christian nation and more: a nation of Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and nonbelievers as well.

Matthew 12:30-38

King James Version (KJV)

30He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

31Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.

32And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.

33Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.

34O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

35A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

36But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

37For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

Perfect Pastor......NOT!!

From as far back as I can remember I’ve been a perfectionist. Most pastors are perfectionists. I’m starting to think that a main reason God called me to be a pastor is to crush my perfectionism and set me free through the gospel. The pressure of being a pastor will either make you a better man or a worse man.

I have found that unknowingly, some people can demean a pastor for having a “real world” job while at the same time expecting their pastor to be Superman, to be perfect. Here is one funny story of the expectations that can be placed on pastors:

The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes. He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings. He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor. The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church. He is 29 years old and has 40 years experience. He never forgets a name and spends most of his time praying to God. Above all, he is handsome.

He also knows when somebody is sick and needs visitation even without anyone telling him about it. He loves to spend time with his family and the perfect pastor has no problem with you dropping in unexpectedly. And he also spends most of his time in preparation to speak God’s Word. He remembers everyone’s birthdate and of course, their anniversary dates as well. Before and after services, he never fails to speak to each person present and will also take the time to listen to you for 15 minutes and pray for each person no less than 10 minutes after listening to them.

The perfect pastor always smiles and tells you what you want to hear. He also goes out to eat after church with each individual family, spreading his time evenly between all, and he also pays for all their meals. The perfect pastor eats nutritiously, gets his rest, exercises daily, and is always there to listen to you night or day. The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church. He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed.

The perfect pastor always has time for church council and all of its committees. He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched. He meets with the all the other pastors in town because they all have so much time on their hands. He also stays focused on the vision of the house. And he attends all the town meetings for PR’s sake. He takes family vacations and attends all the latest church and ministers conferences and listens to your favorite TV preachers and is completely up to date on each prominent TV preacher’s messages. He spends all day each Saturday preparing the Sunday sermon, and he focuses on his family too. He also doesn’t overburden the church finances, so he holds down a full time secular job as well. He never spends your tithes on his children’s Baskin Robins Ice Cream cones. (Author unkown)

To the pastors who are reading this, many of us are weary and burdened. You think you have to be perfect. Perhaps, like me, that has driven you your entire life. You think your people (which are really God's people) expect you to be perfect. And, though you don’t think this way, in your heart you just might live by the lie that you must do all things perfectly in order for God to be happy with you.

Pastors, quit trying to be perfect and let Jesus love you.

Your Father knew all about your sin, flaws, wounds, and baggage when he called you to shepherd his sheep. Jesus doesn’t demand your perfect performance, he summons you to find rest in his perfect love for you, and to let that deep, deep acceptance be what drives and transforms your ministry.

Being a pastor is a great joy, but it’s also really hard. You can spend the next 30 years as a weary, fake, trying-hard-to-be-perfect-for-Jesus-and-my-church pastor. Or, you can quit trying to be perfect and let Jesus love you, and you can watch how that will change everything in your life and in your ministry.

Pastor DK

I want to do my own thing (I need a break from God)

King Manasseh was one of the most wicked kings of Judah who ruled the southern division of Israel. Manasseh had a godly heritage. His father, King Hezekiah, was one of the most righteous and devoted kings of Judah. Manasseh began his reign when he was only 12 years old. For most of the next 55 years he led Judah in idolatry and wickedness.  Manasseh could not wait to come in to his own so he could do whatever he wanted.  But in the story of Manasseh we find a surprising twist in his life.

First – Consider the CORRUPTNESS OF SIN. Manasseh became corrupt, sinful, and detestable to God.
“He did what was evil in the Lord’s sight, following the detestable practice of the pagan nations that the Lord had driven from the land . . . He rebuilt the pagan shrines . . . He constructed altars for the images of Baal and set up Asherah poles. He also bowed before all the powers of the heavens and worshiped them. He built pagan altars in the temple of the Lord” (II Chronicles 33:1-5 NLT).
If that wasn’t enough, note how wicked he became. “Manasseh also sacrificed his own sons in the fire in the Valley of Ben-Hinnom. He practiced sorcery, divination, and witchcraft and he consulted with mediums and psychics. He did much that was evil in the Lord’s sight arousing his anger” (II Chronicles 33:6-9 NLT). Sin corrupted the whole nation.
Now does this not sound like children of today, or ourselves? Whenever we think God is not paying attention to us or we cant be seen by anyone, we go and act the pure fool!  Manasseh went agaisnt everything he had been thought by his god fearing father.
It's like the preachers kids, will always act out more or rebel harder than anyother as they have had to live to the standard set forth by their parents who are in ministry.  They can not wait to get away from them so they can "do me".  Manasseh, did him so much that his sin caused not only his children but the entire nation.  You have to be pretty evil to corrupt a nation!! 


Second – Consider THE CONSEQUENCES of sin and rebellion. God warns us of the consequences of sin. “The Lord spoke to Manasseh and his people but they ignored all his warnings” (II Chronicles 33:10 NLT). God has revealed the consequences of sin through his Word. “The soul that sins shall die.” “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). If we will not humble ourselves God will allow or cause circumstances and judgment to get our attention. He desires that we repent – turn from our sinful, destructive ways, and turn to Him for pardon and life. God sent the Assyrian armies who defeated Manasseh and took him prisoner by putting a ring in his nose and leading him like a bull. They bound him in bronze chains and shackles and took him to Babylon. As a result Manasseh suffered humiliation, pain, and bondage as a result of his rebellion and sin

The very sin (worshiping the Assyrian Gods) put him in bondage.  His sin turned on him and caused him such humiliation. Here is an example that is applicable to today.  A pastor has an affair with a woman and he thinks nobody knows that they are doing.  They continue to meet weekly and he falls in love with her.  After a year or so of this affair his wife goes for a check up and discover she has HIV and she has been faithful to her husband.  He then finds out that he also is HIV positive and he contracted it from his mistess who knew along that she was positive.  That very sin ruined him, his wife, his marriage and potentially cost them their lives.  His sin will cause him to be humiliated by his congregation and ruin the ministry.

Third – Consider THE COMPASSION of a merciful God. I was surprised when I read the turn and saving of wicked King Manasseh. God, in His great and awesome mercy, forgave, delivered, and restored King Manasseh despite all that he had done. Why? To show us how merciful God is to those who will turn to him in true repentance.
The saving of wicked King Manasseh is so remarkable. Let’s consider the heart attitude that led to the saving of Manasseh.
First – A CONTRITE HEART. “But while in deep distress, Manasseh sought the Lord his God and sincerely humbled himself before the God of his ancestors” (II Chronicles 33:12). David realized the compassion and mercy of God. “A broken and contrite heart you will not despise” (Psalm 51:17). James tells us to humble ourselves before God in sincere brokenness and tears and God will lift us up. (James 4:4-10)
Second – A CONFESSING HEART. “And when he prayed, the Lord listened to him and was moved by his request” (II Chronicles 33:13 NLT). God was moved by Manasseh’s prayer of brokenness and confession. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).
Have you ever been so broken and thankful for all that God had done for you through giving His only begotten son? Have you ever said, “Lord God, you have given me so much but what can I give you?”Well the Lord is saying to you now, “Give me your sins." None of us has anything to be proud of – we all have sinned. Don’t go down the path of sin and bondage that Manasseh went. Confess and give your sins to the Redeemer.
Third – A CHANGED HEART brought God’s mercy to one of the most wicked and depraved kings of Judah and Israel. When Manasseh repented, he had a changed heart. God listened, forgave, and restored Manasseh back to Jerusalem. We know he had a changed heart because after he was restored he destroyed all of the pagan shrines, idols, and altars. He led Judah in national repentance and revival. He cleansed the temple and encouraged the people to worship the Lord God of Israel. Does your temple need cleansing? We need saving not pampering of our self-esteem, our own reliance, our own will.
What idols have you been worshiping?  Is it TV, the internet, Porn, your job, your favorite sports team or even your children or spouse?  Are you willing to put God first? and tear down the alters and idols in your life.

The saving of wicked King Manasseh shows that Gods grace and mercy is immeasurable to those who will sincerely repent of their sin and turn to him. (Psalm 103) There is no pit that God’s grace is not deeper than..Why would God forgive so freely? Because his only begotten son paid the price of our sins by his blood shed on the cross. His grace and mercy is not cheap. Jesus paid it all. The saving of King Manasseh shows us the fathomless depth of God’s mercy. He always hears the humble cry of repentance.
“’Come now, let’s settle this,’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson I will make them as white as wool’” (Isaiah 1:18 NLT).

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