A frank letter to ungrateful, godless and parent blaming children.

Dear Parent Blamer,

Firstly let me say, stop it. It’s pathetic and pointless. And for the rest of us innocent bystanders… very annoying.

To be completely honest, we’re sick of your whining, your complaining, your anger, your victim mentality and your inability to see that your current attitude (not some historical event) is your biggest problem. We’re also sick of you blaming your (current) bad behavior on your parents. What’s standing between you and success right now is YOU and your will to commit your live to Christ. Not your folks, not your history… you. And the fact that you think THEY have sabotaged your life and are somehow responsible for your (current) stupid behaviors and less-than-desirable outcomes, wreaks of denial, immaturity and delusion.

Yes, we all get that your childhood, or parts thereof, sucked – welcome to the world’s largest club.

We also get that your old man was periodically a completely insensitive and uncommunicative at times. Sadly, that’s what (many) fathers do. And yep, we know that your mother was a selfish cow that time when you were in the eighth (and ninth and tenth) grade; it happens.

Okay, let’s be honest and blunt… some parents are crap. And yes, many of us have been hurt – physically, emotionally and/or psychologically – by our parents. I am not suggesting that you deny your past, but I am suggesting that you don’t live there. It’ll kill you. In ten different ways. Some people have been inhabiting the seventies and eighties and re-visiting their childhood for the last few decades.

No matter how much you think your parents deserve your anger and resentment, I’m telling you (1) it serves no positive purpose (2) it will hurt you more than them (3) stop being a big, immature, stupid baby and (4) you and only you, are responsible for your current reality – no matter what your parents have or haven’t done to you, or for you.

Even though you may have a very good ‘reason’ to be ticked off at your folks, I’m saying let it go anyway. Move on. And it’s not about what they do or don’t deserve; it’s about what you deserve. If you want to destroy your potential, your enthusiasm, your optimism and your hope, then become a chronic Parent Blamer. Hang on to that hurt, no matter what! Or you could let me save you some serious time and pain and just believe me when I tell you that being a Parent Blamer is a pointless, destructive, pathetic waste of your potential and emotional energy. And if you’re not careful, a waste of your life. It will destroy you from the inside out. It’s true; some people will die angry, bitter, resentful and tortured souls because they never found a way to let go of the self-perpetuated – yep, read that clearly, self-perpetuated – misery. When you’re still desperately holding on to emotional crap from years ago, it’s YOU that’s the problem. When you’re eighteen, twenty five, thirty five or fifty five and you’re still thinking, talking and behaving like a teenager who’s mad at their parents, you need a big reality check.

The only thing you can change about the past, is how you let it affect you now.

You may wanna read that again.

Over the years I have seen people who have blamed their parents for everything from their poor communication skills, dysfunctional relationships, destructive habits and violent behaviors, to their fat body and poor eating habits. What!!! Do you not have a brain in your head? Are you incapable of independent thought? Can you not make your own decisions, choose your own behaviors and be responsible for your own existence? Surely you feed yourself these days? Surely you have some control over what comes out of your mouth? And surely you can choose to do, be and create different in your world.

Perhaps your parents taught you how not to be?

Let me say that I totally understand that your parents weren’t always what they should or could have been for you as a child (caring, supportive, forgiving, understanding, loving, available, guiding, honest). You have my sympathy and understanding but you’re not alone. You’re in a very large majority. The problem with parents is that they’re flawed and that whole ‘being human’ thing kind of gets in the way of parental perfection. If only parents were cyborgs.

Today’s blog is the result of an ridiculous amount of recent conversations I’ve had with people who are hell-bent on blaming their parents for every aspect of their own miserable and dysfunctional existence. Sometimes the anger, the resentment and dare I say, the absolute hatred, that people hang on to (for decades) amazes and saddens me.

The parental blame game is a slippery slope of self-pity, self-destruction and futility that’s played by far too many people to their own detriment. It’s a game you’re advised to avoid. Take My advice. I used to be you!


Pastor DK

Doing the minimum

This almost funny because it seems so stupid, but unfortunately it's really common. Don't you think God is sick by professing to be Christians always looking for the loop-holes? You know the ones who say, "Jesus drank, so I can! or what's the maximum I can drink? What's the minimum time I need to put in to be right with God. How many times should I go to church to feel good about myself? How long should I pray so God knows I care?".

It's the entire mindset of: "Whats the absolute minimum I have to do in order to be in good standing with God?" That's just playing games with God! We all have times we are distracted, and fumble on the wrong path, but if this is just the way it is there is a problem.

Friends, I hope none of you have this mind-set. But if you do, it will not give you joy -- and those life changing encounters with the Lord Jesus will be so rare you may even forget about Him for many years. Jesus Christ is joy and peace and love, the Holy Ghost is the most wonderful person and presence I've ever experienced, and if you've met Him I know you know this too.

Let's be honest with God and realize where we aren't being sincere, and try to do something about it!

Repentance... No longer a part of church today.

Whatever happened to repentance? You rarely hear the word mentioned in most churches today — even in Baptist, Pentecostal or charismatic churches. Pastors nowadays seldom call for their congregations to repent over sin. And what about when the pastor sins? (I guess that's for another blog post..see perfect pastor blog post.)

Instead, the message we hear from many pulpits today is, "Just believe. Accept Christ, and you'll be saved." The text used to justify this message is
Acts 16:30-31.
30And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?

31And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

In this passage, the apostle Paul was being held in jail when suddenly the earth shook and all the cell doors opened. The jailer immediately thought all the prisoners had fled, which meant he faced execution. In despair, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself when Paul and Silas stopped him, assuring him no one had escaped.

Seeing this, the man fell down before the apostles and cried out, "…Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house" (Acts 16:30-31).

As we read this, it's important to remember that the jailer was on the verge of suicide, with sword in hand. He was already at a point of repentance — on his knees, broken and trembling, before the apostles. So his heart was truly prepared to accept Jesus in genuine faith.

In the gospel of Mark, Jesus tells his disciples, "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned" (Mark 16:16). It's clear from what Jesus says here that salvation is found in simply accepting him and being baptized.

However, Jesus prefaces his statement with this word: "…Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature" (verse 15). He's saying, in essence, that before people can believe in him, the gospel must first be preached to them.

And what is this gospel Jesus refers to? It's the gospel that Jesus himself preached — the gospel of repentance!

Think about it — what was the first message Jesus delivered, after he emerged from the temptation in the wilderness? Scripture says, "From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matthew 4:17).

Jesus called people to repent before he even called them to believe! Mark writes, "…Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, and saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel" (Mark 1:14-15). Christ preached, "Repent first — and believe."

In Matthew 9:13 Jesus says of his mission, "…I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance" (Matthew 9:13). And he told the Galileans, "I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3).

Jesus' gospel was all about repentance!

I know how hard it is to admit when you are wrong. I know how it is to know that there is sin in your life. I too sin and if it were not for the grace of God and his forgiveness, I would be condemned to hell.
It's not too late and your problems are never too large. You are not perfect. You never will be perfect, on this earth anyway. I encourage you to repent! Get the weight of sin off you and become the man or woman that God sees, not the person that man/woman sees.

Ready or Not he will come

As a little boy growing up in ruaral South Carolina on what was a dirt road but now is paved, I really enjoyed playing hide and go seek.

I loved it no matter if I was the one hiding trying not to get caught, or if I was the one seeking; who was trying to catch those hiding.

Although I have not played in a quite some time, I do remember that the seeker, was called the "It".

The “It” would close their eyes and count to 20 or 100 giving time for the others to hide.

Now sometimes the seeker would cheat a little bit, I must admit I did and would peek around. But then you could hear the count, "One Mississippi Two Mississippi" All the Way To whatever Mississippi.

Then you would hear the counter scream out, "Ready or not here I come."

Four things were always certain in the game:

(1) - The “It” was surely coming

(2) - The “It” was coming when they were good and ready and not before

(3) - The “It” was coming whether you were ready or not

(4) - And If you were not ready, then you would pay the consequences.
Little did I realize as a child how much this game of hide and seek was much like the Return or The Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Paul pleaded with the church of Thessalonica and us today about the importance of being ready.

Hear Paul’s words to the believers gathered in Thessalonica.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-2

King James Version (KJV)

1But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you.

2For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

The Second Coming of Jesus Christ is one of the most repeated teachings in all of Scripture.

Paul was aware of Christ’s return and he explained it to the believers gathered in Thessalonica.

As a matter of fact, Paul told them that he should not have to remind them about this fact again.

It is much like a story I read years ago of a tourist driving through Texas who stopped at a gas station.

He saw a piece of rope dangling from a sign labeled "Weather Forecaster."

The tourist was curious and asked "How can you possibly tell the weather with a piece of rope?"

"It’s simple, Sonny," the person said.

"When the rope swings back and forth, it’s windy.

When it gets wet, it’s raining.

When it’s frozen stiff, and it has white stuff on it well it is snowing,
And when it’s gone... tornado!"

There are some things that should be obvious without even asking.
The return of Jesus Christ is one of those things.

The Scriptures inform us that the Messiah will return how? "...as a thief in the night."

The question is not "If Jesus will return?" but "When will Jesus return?"

Paul answers this question "No one knows."

Paul explains this by describing the time of Jesus return as A thief in the night.
Just as a thief plans to entr at an uncertain time that is when least expected; so it will be with the coming of the Son of Man.

Jesus Himself proclaims this truth in Matthew (Matt. 24:35) "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only."

Latter Jesus shares this warning (Matt 24:44) (Slow) “Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not expect Him."
1 Thessalonians 5:3-5

King James Version (KJV)

3For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.

4But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief.

5Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.


Several places in the bible often refers to the Second Coming of Christ as the "Day of the Lord."

The way I interpret the "Day of the Lord" was the designation of the time when God would pour out His wrath on the ungodly.

After Jesus comes for His people, Our Lord will begin to pour out His judgments upon them; in a time which is often referred to as the “Great Tribulation.”

The tragedy of this day is that so many, so many will be unprepared.

And not only will they be unprepared they will actually be deceived. And they will be actively deceiving others as they proclaim we have "Peace and Safety."

Many will be convinced that there is no danger when in fact destruction the end is near.

Another mistake we tend to make is, we dont know if you will die today!! Could that mean you will be meeting YOUR Savior that day?

We must live daily with an Attitude of Watchfulness.
Hear Gods Word to us:

1 Thessalonians 5:5-7

King James Version (KJV)

5Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.

6Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober.

7For they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night.

During my time served in the Army we were commanded to "Stay alert while on your post”, so should we be as Christians.

A Roman soldier would be put to death for falling asleep on his watch.

The outcome could be just as fatal for those who are not constantly on alert.

We as disciples must be Disciplined in our walk .

As disciples we should know who they are in Christ.

as disciples we should seek to be made into the image of Christ.

Paul is warning us that we must not allow anything "invade" our lives that will be harmful to our moral alertness.

Just like getting drunk will inhibit a person’s ability to focus and make wise decisions.

So Sin will affect one’s ability to make moral and Spiritual decisions.
A person does not become drunk with just one drink.

Slowly the drinker becomes drunk.

A point is reached when all of the senses become blurred.

You become a danger to yourself as well as to others.

In the same way, if we do not control sin in our lives, we could soon be overcome by its effects.

As a drunk is often passed out and oblivious to the world; so is the drunk Spiritually passed out and oblivious to the workings of the flesh and of the evil one.

We must live daily in the light in obedience to God’s word.

1 Thessalonians 5:8

King James Version (KJV)

8But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation.

We must be prepared. We must be prepared at all times. Either for the Second Coming of Jesus or a prepared to meet Jesus in death.
One thing for Sure, ready or not he is coming!!

You're my child warts and all

What do you do when your adult children do not follow the moral, social, and spiritual wisdom you have taught and invested in them, and choose a life that is totally unacceptable? I found out for myself a couple of weeks ago! Through all the hurt, embarrassment and tears,there's a story in the New Testament that the Spriti of God is using to help me, that I may be able to help my adult child and other family members. (Read here) In this story, a man's younger son asks his father for his share of the estate, then sets off for another country. He wastes his entire inheritance in wild living and eventually ends up in a literal pigpen. Though the details may have changed, this is still a common story today. Let's look at a few things we can learn from the parable of the prodigal son.
Remember, a good environment does not ensure perfect children (scripture)

Though the prodigal son left home and made a series of bad choices, there's nothing showing us that his home life was anything rough or severe.

Parental actions or inaction's—have taken the rap for almost everything. Many of us have done a less-than-perfect job in raising our kids. But remember:

* There are no perfect people.(scripture)
* All people are responsible for their own actions.(Scripture)
* All people (even your children) are capable of totally unreasonable actions.(scriptures)
Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly
Geoffrey and Marcia were exemplary citizens with a reputation for honesty, stability, and credibility. That's why it came as a shock when their son, Allen, was arrested for embezzling a large sum of money from the car dealership where he was the accountant. People speculated about where Geoff and Marcia had gone wrong in their parenting. Even Geoff and Marcia struggled to find fault in themselves.

But Allen's problem was all his own. During college he began a secret habit of gambling—poker in the dorms, bets on sporting events, and occasional trip to the casinos. After college, as his income grew, so did his addiction, until he began losing more than he made. He began skimming at work, until finally he was caught. It should have been no more surprising than if it had happened to the son of an alcoholic parent. Behavior does not necessarily reflect home environment.
Eventually we have to allow our adult children to make their own choices. (scripture)

Back to the story of the prodigal, we never read about the sorrow in the father's heart when he gives his youngest son the inheritance and allows him to run off to the city. But it's not hard to imagine.

Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly

Bruce and Amber's son, Ted, had just finished dental school when he announced over the phone, "I'm moving in with a friend while I do my internship."

The friend turned out to be a woman 16 years older than Ted. She had been married three times, had two teenagers, and was a heavy drinker. Ted didn't ask his parents' advice and wasn't interested in their concerns. He simply informed them that he was capable of making his own decisions. He's right, no matter how lousy his decisions might be.

Adult children need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the door to Mom and Dad's home is never completely shut.(Scripture)

What made the prodigal return home and plead for mercy? He knew his dad treated all people kindly.

Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly

Ronnie hadn't seen his parents in 12 years, though he called them once or twice a year. One day he called and asked them if he could move home. "Mom, there's no nice way to say this. I have AIDS and I'm dying."

Less than a year later, Ronnie died in his mother's arms in his parents' house—a home where he found an open door.
Adult children need to see an open display of compassion.(Scripture)

Upon his son's return, the prodigal's father threw his arms around the young man, hugged him, and kissed him even before there was any confession of sorrow. It was a very public display of love.

Excerpted from Once a Parent, Always a Parent by Stephen Bly

At 21, Heidi flew home from college during her senior year, unmarried and pregnant. Her parents met her at the airport, and the first thing her father did was hug her for about five minutes. Tears flowed and the people in the terminal stared. "I was so scared that I'd come home and you wouldn't want to hug me anymore!" Heidi said. Dad hugged her that day, and he was the first to hug her five months later when the baby arrived.

Truly repentant children, no matter what acts they committed, need our forgiveness. But what about those cases where there is no regret or remorse? This is a tough question. However, I personally believe you should not let your grown kids get away with inappropriate behavior or wrongdoing. As instructed by the Spirit of God, I keep running the following key principles in mind when I need to discuss my adult child's failures with them:

* We all have times when we need to be confronted for failing to live up to acceptable standards.
* Correct your children with patience and instruction.This is very tough me me..LOL(Scripture)
* Let them know that you are by no means perfect, but that you do want to help them overcome their failing in any way you can.(scripture)
* Don't make enemies of your adult children. The goal is a loving, healthy lifestyle and relationship.(Scripture)
* Make sure your comments exhibit true wisdom.(Scripture)
* Take time to consider the exact words (and tone of voice) you use when speaking to them.(Scripture)
* Once you have made your position clear, don't keep bringing up the subject. Yet again another hard one for me but God is able.

When we are disappointed in our children's behavior, we must live with the burden of incomplete relationships until they are ready to repent of their failure. This means not talking about your child's failures to others and not sitting around allowing the situation to eat away at you.

No matter what, parents cannot do four things when deeply disappointed by adult children:

1. Parents cannot give up.
2. Parents cannot cut off all contact
3. Parents cannot negate the wrong choices
4. Parents cannot reverse the damages

Forgiveness is not the end goal when adult children fail; it's the first step in reestablishing or maintaining a relationship.

Why are we trying to compete with the world?

…to be successful.
I dare say this because I love any and everything technology and “performance” related, but the Church does not need newer or better technology and brighter lights to be successful. We dont need them to compete with the “world”.

Do we NEED to be competing with the ENTERTAINMENT industry for the hearts and minds of the people in our communities to be a successful church? Is being a successful church all about drawing as many people as we can with the latest look, style, and vibe of the entertainment industry? Why are we comparing our church services to the entertainment industry anyways?
So how many of our churches can actually compete with Avatar or the Twilight Series? Or a Beyounce concert? Or X Factor? Because that’s pretty much what we’re trying to do.
God hasn’t called the Church to entertain people. The church is called to be about The Kingdom of CHRIST. I say compete with the spirit of the world for the hearts and minds of people. But not with the entertainment industry. We’re too focused on the natural.
I say with boldness and confidence that the Church doesn’t NEED the latest technology and flashiest lights to be the Church. Sure, one could argue that you need them to communicate with cutting edge authenticity and to capture the wandering attentions of our A.D.D generation. Maybe.
But what the Church needs to be successful is simple. In fact, what she needs and wants are two totally different things. The Church needs to be a representation of Christ to it's surrounding communities. Period.
Focus on that and you’ll be successful. Oh you might not grab the attention of people who want to be entertained, but why does the church need to duplicate that area anyways. George Cloney seems to be doing quite nicely as it is.
Start with CHRIST. Knowing who Jesus is and what He did/does is key. We can’t represent something we don’t know.
Let your use of technology and your desire to be cutting edge ALWAYS flow from a bigger purpose: BEING THE LIGHT.
Can we use technology to “be the light” – I’m sure some could argue that we could and should use what we have to influence others for Christ. But the plain and simple truth of the matter is we don’t need technology to effectively minister or tell others about Jesus to those around us.
The numbers are in and we’ve spent more money the last decade on growth techniques and being technologically cutting edge to “keep up with and compete with the world” than in any time in history and the American church has declined. It hasn’t worked. Throwing money at our facilities doesn’t grow the church. Representing Jesus to the world as a group of people does.
Want to be a successful part of the Church? Represent Jesus collectively right where you are, individually and of collectively, and God will honor that.
Want to be a cool, cutting edge, and ultimately entertaining church? Pursue stuff and neglect being Christ to those around you and you’ll probably be a beacon of technological “coolness” to churches across the land…but you’ll be a small fish swimming in a much larger ocean, the sea of entertainment that moves people but doesn’t truly impact them for eternity.
* Disclaimer: I’m ALL FOR using technology in our gatherings. I’m just not for all that creating memorable experiences. If you encounter the spirit of God you will never forget that.  I’m not for all that setting moods and atmospheres for our worship gatherings remember they that worship him must worship him in spirit and truth. 

U. S.A. (Under Satan's Authority)

Matt 12:34
O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

At the risk of losing my "black card" (noooo, not the American Express Black Card) and the possibility of losing my ability to play my unused "Race Card" I sumbit to you the argument that this nation is Under Satan's Authority and no longer One Nation Under God.
Much like the millions of others, I supported Our current POTUS(President of the United States)for which I have had to repent. I was doing some research for an upcoming sermon and found the following document. It will have the names of the congressmen & women that signed the letter of which I do not endorse at this time. As that is not the purpose of this blog post, but to show how the enemy of God is attempting to remove God from this Nation.
This has to be the first time in our history, the Congress has written a letter to a President on our nations beliefs……..

This is a wonderful response from Congress about keeping God a part of our country.
But it’s not been picked up by local media. This is an actual letter sent by members of Congress to President Obama who misquoted the motto as something else in his tour of Indonesia.

This demonstrates a lack of understanding of what makes America what it is, and what it stands for. It also demonstrates lack of education in the American system, a blatant lack on fear of the Lord and the demonstrates how far this nation has gone from God.
Since the contents of the letter and what it represents are not getting any national media coverage, it is good to know that the letter is
now and forever part of the public record for future generations to read.

Just a slip of the tongue right?ummm NO!!


From FactCheck.org here is more..


Q: Did Obama say we "are no longer a Christian nation"?

A: He said we are no longer "just" a Christian nation, but a nation of many other faiths as well. A chain e-mail drops that key word and thus changes the meaning.

FULL QUESTION

Is this true? It is now traveling around the Internet.



FULL ANSWER
This is an example of how omitting a single word from an otherwise accurate quote can twist the meaning so completely as to reverse it. Here's what Obama meant to say, during his keynote address to a "Call to Renewal" conference sponsored by the progressive Christian magazine Sojourners two years ago:







Obama, June 28, 2006 (prepared remarks): Given the increasing diversity of America's population, the dangers of sectarianism have never been greater. Whatever we once were, we are no longer just a Christian nation; we are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.



That quote appears also on Obama's campaign Web site. Unfortunately for Obama, he stumbled just a bit when he delivered the actual quote, as can be seen in this video of his speech, posted on YouTube by the Obama campaign. The way it actually came out was:

Obama, June 28, 2006 (as delivered): Whatever we once were, we are no longer a Christian nation – at least, not just. We are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, and a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.



That wasn't as smoothly stated as he had intended, but the meaning remains clear to any reasonable person. Saying that the U.S. is not "just" a Christian nation carries the sense that it is both a Christian nation and more: a nation of Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and nonbelievers as well.

Matthew 12:30-38

King James Version (KJV)

30He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

31Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.

32And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.

33Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.

34O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

35A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

36But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

37For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.